OFFICIALS from the worst council in the country were out in force at the recent Coldplay gig at the Oldham Arena.Surprisingly, despite the abundance of bureaucrats present, this was a gig that was not promoted by Chas 'Show me the money' Cole.
However, that didn't stop Chas's mate Phil Hasitall, who took a half million pound pay-off from the hard-pressed council taxpayers of Liverpool, being present in a front row seat.
Wonder who paid for his ticket?
Nor did it stop chief executive Colin CoverUp and his delightful missus getting on down with the kids from their seats.
Wonder who paid for their tickets?
Alongside CoverUp and missus, and making a rare and hugely anticipated public appearance, was a surprise special guest - none other than The Storeyteller and his delightful missus.
Wonder who paid for their tickets?
Indeed so thick (sic) on the ground were senior council officials and members of CoverUp's Executive Management Team that excited bystanders wondered if the Lib Dim Executive Board were going to be the support act.
We are told that the Christmas get-together was to celebrate all the hard work put in by senior executives in making the city council the worst in the country and taking Liverpool to the verge of bankruptcy.
The council delegation took particular delight in Coldplay front man Chris Martin's recital of the appropriate line: "Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard”.
But one civic leader (sic) was surprisingly missing from the distinguished council line-up.
Step forward, under-investigation and on his uppers, Warren 'The Fireman' Bradley.
He rang up an underling just an hour before the show to apologise and cancel his seats.
Wonder who paid for his (unused) tickets?
So, as the bureaucrats swayed to the appropriately titled "Fix You", there was mounting speculation amongst them about The Fireman's future (sic).
"He's ****ed," was the fairly constant refrain.
But it seems The Fireman too, may well have finally smelled the coffee after a series of full and frank exchanges with his ruinously expensive legal team (paid for by council taxpayers).
The legal eagles have apparently advised him, at a cost believed to be in the region of £750 a day, that he is in deep doo-doo with the Standards Board.
"You're on a sticky wicket, Warren mate," was the advice.
"It looks like curtains, sunshine."
"They've got you bang to rights."
We would not have charged him a penny - thus saving council taxpayers a small fortune - for providing exactly the same advice.
And we would have been happy to have done so. As a public service to the people of Liverpool.
Meanwhile, now that the penny has dropped with the Fireman, the Standards Board contine to consider his and the Storeyteller's response to their secret report.
It could be finally published next week, next month, next year.
Anyroadup, the Fireman's bold threats ("I'm a fighter, not a fireman") of taking out an incredibly expensive High Court injunction against the ethics watchdogs at the Standards Board have apparently come to nought.
Gone are the protestations of innocence. Gone the brave words. Gone the little boy lost look.
Gone with all the wind.
The fearless Fireman has now gone from cock of the north to cock-up.
Which made one Coldplay song all the more appropriate - 'Yellow'.
LIVERPOOL city council has today been officially ranked bottom of the league table of 500 local authorities in Britain.
