Our Lord Redmond cancels closing ceremony so 2008 will end....

OUR Lord Redmond has cancelled plans for a closing ceremony for 2008 - because there is no money left in the kitty.

Redmond, a multi-millionaire who lives in Cheshire, pulled the plug at a meeting in the Millenium House Fun Palace this afternoon.

He had appointed himself as the producer of the show and was due to take all the credit for single-handedly designing a showpiece event.

Liverpool subCulture understands that these were some of Redmond's planned highlights:

• The March of the Superlambananas - a parade of all the Japanese-made statues which were erected around the city.


• Karaoke Kop - a massed choir in the Oldham Echo Arena singing their favourite Beatles songs.


• 'I'm a Scouser, get me out of here!' - a new series broadcast on closed circuit TV all around the city where celebrity scousers try to out-do each other with their quaint Scouse mannerisms. This was Our Lord's own, totally original, idea.


• Build your own bench, sponsored by Rapid. A mass creative cultural experience for local people to show how fully engaged they are in Liverpool 2008. In a new innovation, benches can be made from wastepaper made in Oldham. Redmond said: “I said at the beginning, it’s not simply a bench. It’s also a cultural resting place." (He did actually say this, eds)


• Build Your Own Pub, sponsored by Cains.


• A great after-show party for Phil and his mates, including Pete Price (welcome back Pete, eds), Clare Sweeney, Sinbad and various other extras from Brookside.


• The Phil Factor - Our Lord judges the world class local talent who come on, trip up over some tatty 08 branding and then start singing old Frank Sinatra songs. Into the wrong microphone.


• 'Standards are Slipping' - a look back at the city's rich political history, culminating in a pyrotechnic re-enactment of the Fireman's famous 'Walk of Death' to judgement day by the Standards Board for England.


• Carry On Cover Up - a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek romp through the farcical goings-on at Liverpool Town Hall.


• Double Your Money - a live casino on the waterfront where council taxpayers give up all their money to incompetent council bureaucrats who then disappear to retirement homes in Formby, Spain and Wales.

Unfortunately we are now going to miss all these treats. Because all the money has been spent. Gone, Vanished. Disappeared. The cupboard is bare. There is no more dosh. It doesn't grow on trees yer know. We are brassic. Aint got a cent, lah. On our uppers, Phil mate.

Redmond had originally wanted £1million for the end of the year show when he began planning his great moment six months ago. Then the budget was halved to half a million - the amount being paid to Hasitall as a reward for his incompetence. Then the budget was going to be dependent on what could be raised in ticket sales for seats for the show at the Oldham Arena. Then at today's meeting, Redmond was finally told there were no more spondulicks.

What's more, since the long-suffering Culture Company staff are all out on their ears on December 31st, not many were going to be daft enough to rally around to make multi-millionaire Redmond look good.

No doubt he will now try to cobble something together with a few of his 'mates' to try and save his face. But it won't be anything like what he had planned - or the people of Liverpool had expected.

Perhaps the Oldham Echo can organise a 'Save the Show' campaign?

FAMOUS FIVE DISAPPEAR FROM TREASURE ISLAND by Enid Blyton

WHATEVER has Colin CoverUp done to the Famous Five?

His 5-man Executive Management Team (EMT) has now all but disappeared from the law-breaking city council.

The only two left are CoverUp's mate and chief 'yes' man Stuart Smith, who was last spotted hiding under a desk with his hands over his ears and regeneration boss John Kelly (who has had such an impact on the city that we had quite forgotten him, until reminded by one of our commentators below).

Its the end of an era and no more lashings of Cains ginger beer and ham-fisted sandwiches for the super-directors.

The smiling assassin Hasitall has been booted out of the Municipal Buildings with a half a million pay-off after making the council the worst in the country.

Social Services Executive Director Tony Hunter, last seen looking like death warmed up after years of bullying by the rottweiller McElhinney, has legged it to become chief exec of Cleethorpes or somewhere equally obscure.

The 'Cultural' Exec Director, otherwise known as the Harbarrowboy, has been given a £250,000 pay-off, a season ticket to Tans R Us and a hammock on the Costa del Cock Up.

As one blog contributor has aptly noted, that leaves only Cover Up and nonentities in charge of the lawbreaking city council - the worst in the country.

Difficult to get a quorum for EMT meetings then.

Good to know that the city's biggest employer is in such safe hands, if you will forgive the pun.

Never mind though.

We are sure it won't be too long before Cover Up again appoints a costly firm of headhunters (breaking all the city council's procurement rules) to scour the country looking for 'top talent'.

"We are determined to appoint the best possible leaders," said a grim-faced council spokesman "to take Liverpool forward to a bright new dawn where children play happily in sun-kissed meadows, couples skip hand in hand through the latest shopping mall and literally millions of journalists from the Washington Post visit the city to witness a huge £1.8million thing lumbering through the streets (obviously Lord Redmond's ego, eds)"explained a council spokesman.

With the post of City Solicitor now being advertised for the third time (still no takers) perhaps word has got about?

Maybe we can stand-by for a whole new team of overpaid, lacklustre bureaucrats appointed on £225,000 a year, plus Performance Related Pay, to transform the worst council in the country into a new Jerusalem.

Yeah, right.

Historical note: You will recall that it was the evil Henshaw who first appointed four yes men (and one woman) as £150,00-a-year Executive Directors soon after being named chief executive by The Storeyteller.

The Famous Five then were:

• Colin CoverUp (Education)
  
• Hasitall (Resources)
  
• The rottweiller McEhinney (specially brought by Henshaw from Knowsley to mastermind dirty tricks)
  
• Annie Shepperd (daft as a brush)
  
• Charlie Parker (cockney wide boy).

The cost of failure for Hasitall.......

FAILED City Treasurer Phil Hasitall is being paid off with half a million pounds after making Liverpool the worst council in the country.

Details of the record pay-off are exclusively revealed in today's Daily Post.

It means the smiling assassin Hasitall will be departing next Spring after 10 years with the city council following the Audit Commission offically ranking Liverpool as the worst council in the country for its financial mismanagement.

We wonder how much he might have got if he had done his job properly?

The hated Halsall is known for a few other things:

He is a mate of Chas Cole, promoter of the Summer Pops

He gave more than £3million of council taxpayers money to his mate Chas for the Summer Pops, breaking all council procurement rules

He went on holiday to New York with his mate Chas and his other mate, the rottweiller Dr David McElhinney while signing the fat cheques for Chas

• He went to the same school in Southport with his mate Chas and Colin Cover Up - talk about the old school tie!
• His mate Chas gave Hasitall's son Liam a slot for his band 'Abe' as support to Status Quo at the Summer Pops - the band have since sunk without trace
  
• The cost of The 08 Place spiralled half a million pounds over budget, after his mate Chas got special treatment for his office inside from Hasitall's other mate, the rottweiller McElhinney


• His mate Chas got free parking from the city council at a cost of £19,000 - Hasitall authorised this
  
• Hasitall allowed The Harbarrowboy to waste millions on Capital of Culture cock-ups and then went cap in hand to the Government begging to be bailed out


• Hasitall has spent the last three years leaking like crazy against Colin Cover Up and Fireman Bradley after unsurprisingly failing to get Henshaw's job
  

Hasitall was, of course, a fully signed-up member of the evil cabal with Sir Diddy and the Rottweiller. Their major claim to fame, of course, was their corruption, dishonesty and cowardice.

An avid Daily Torygraph reader, Hasitall distinguished himself at the city council by putting his personal greed above all else.

But he did provide some lighter moments - Hasitall's two most memorable public appearances were:

1) Telling Mick Ord at Radio Merseyside how, thanks to Hasitall and McElhinney, city council staff were now going to get preferential treatment for tickets for the first Paul McCartney gig at Kings Dock - and then being slightly bemused when a firestorm of protest erupted

2) His now legendary TV interview with the saintly Gordon Burns on BBC North West Tonight earlier this year when the £230,000-a-year Hasitall was questioned about the council being the worst in the country for financial stewardship.

(This landmark interview is now being replayed by PR companies all over the North West as a classic example of how not to do a TV interview - Hasitall was rude, arrogant, dishonest and seemingly extremely put out that somone of his seniority and obvious intelligence was being held to account for his record as a senior council officer and why should he even deign to answer silly, stupid and ridiculous questions from a mere TV reporter who clearly didn't understand anything at all about figures and after all what was it to do with him anyway? I'm not fucking accountable to him or the great unwashed in Garston sitting at home watching the telly with their egg and chips on their laps waiting for Eastenders to start, I'm fucking accountable to that other dick-head Bradley and his stupid side-kick Hilton who are as bad as each other and I can pull the wool over their eyes any day of the week, anyway I would rather be on the golf course than sitting in a stupid fucking cupboard on Paradise Street talking to some idiot in a fucking studio in Manchester.)

Sort of thing.

Meanwhile Labour, for entirely understandable reasons, have been concentrating their attack over the council's financial failures soley on the Lib Dims.

In order to reap the obvious benefits, Joe Anderson has sought to extricate Hasitall of all responsibility, while pinning it more firmly on the back of Bradley et al.

Which is fine, but not the whole truth.

Hasitall is just as complicit in taking the city council to the brink of bankruptcy as the incompetent Lib Dims.

And now he has got his reward - half a million pounds of council taxpayer's money.

It is they who will now be picking up the tab for his failures for many more years to come.

While Hasitall lives up to his name.

Gordon steps in to spare Halsall's blushes...

PRIME Minister Gordon Brown has stepped in to spare the blushes of the smiling assassin Hasitall as he fights to save his failing reputation.

Some impish person, with a mischievous sense of humour (who could that possibly be? eds), appended Halsall's signature to the excellent petition currently on the No 10 Downing Street web site, calling for an independent investigation into the city council's finances.

Readers will recall that the Lib Dim city council was branded by the Audit Commission as the worst council in the country for its lack of financial stewardship, ably masterminded for the last nine years by the smiling assassin.

No sooner had Phil Halsall's name appeared on the petition than it was spotted by panic-stricken minions in the City Treasurer's department.

They urgently tracked down the £230,000-a-year (plus Performance Related Pay) smiling assassin on the golf course where he was swinging the lead, (shouldn't he be slinging his hook? eds).

Hasitall went ballistic, seeing the jape as all part of the civil war with Colin CoverUp and a further attempt to discredit him (are any MORE attempts needed? eds).

Hasitall immediately contacted the bald legal eagle Ken Unworthy, a close ally in his fight with Cover Up, to demand immediate action.

Emails were soon winging their way to the hard-pressed web master at No 10, demanding that Downing Street immediately remove Halsall's name from the petition.

There followed lengthy legal exchanges between the worst council in the country and No 10 - including threats of a High Court injunction - all carried out at an unknown cost to the taxpayer.

Halsall, renowned for his Daily Torygraph reading habits, also had the cheek to consult Unison, to intercede on his behalf.

Hasitall even went to see his mate Chas to see if he could help out by offering to throw a fund-raising gig for Gordon.

Finally, Colin Cover Up was reluctantly forced to intervene and write to No 10 vouching for the hated Halsall's bona fides.

(Oh, the ignomy, the ignomy, eds)

Eventually, No 10 relented and agreed to remove Halsall's name from the petition, allowing him to return to the golf course with his reputation, er, intact.

Any suggestion that Gordon is now considering bringing in Hasitall to aid his besieged Chancellor, is, of course, entirely without foundation.

A new hit parade for Liverpool subCulture...

WE are delighted to officially announce that the Liverpool subCulture blog, banned by the Lib Dim city council, has now attracted more than 100,000 readers.
We thank you all.
Our most sincere thanks of course, must go to all those who have made Liverpool subCulture a small, but such a beautifully formed, footnote in the proud history of the blogosphere.
We mean of course, our rich cast of characters:

• The evil Sir Diddy (first and foremost)
• The rottweiller McElhinney (still in our sights)
• The smiling assassin Hasitall (who has undergone several reincarnations, but who has now turned history on its head by conspiring against the current chief executive - my how times do change!)
• Chas 'show me the money' Cole (still raking in forests of cash from the city)
• The Storeyteller (still unable to hold his own water)
• Fireman Bradley (wounded badly, but limping to meet his coup de grace at the Standards Board)
• Colin CoverUp (seriously unimpressive and comprehensively discredited after going native)
  The Harbarrowboy (more brass neck than gold medallions)
• Our Lord Redmond (rampant egotism and fake celebrity of a true phoney)
• Donald Bullshitter (cocking up on a daily basis, but still taking the money)

We know them all so well now.
And so, thankfully, does Liverpool.
And there are a whole host of supporting extras - Mr Bumble, Randy Newman, Sexy Rexy, the craven Echo, Clare McCogloose, etc, etc, who have all added to the fun and games.
But most of all, we wish to thank and congratulate some 'real' Liverpool stars - Tori Blare, Prof Chucklebutty (and his missus) and Pete Price - without whom Liverpool subCulture would never have continued.
Good on you.
We hope that we may also take a little credit for encouraging these great new voices in the Liverpool blogosphere - long may they continue.
Meanwhile the city council continues to protest to Google in an attempt to ban the blog - demonstrating their daily contempt for the city council's taxpayers.
And, of course, their total contempt for truth, justice and democracy.
Which is were it all started...

The voice of the people - we could not say it better.....

Dr X. Laughing Sandwich has left a new comment on your post:

This behaviour is endemic within the Executive Board of the council and that of LDL.

It has been cultivated and necessitated by a conspiracy of covering up greed, incompetence and the unbelievable criminal squandering of public monies.

The reality is that a group of controlling officers in Liverpool who are on salaries way out of proportion to other Local Authority Executive officers or even Executives of private companies, or for that matter, the parliamentary cabinet and the prime minister himself.

It is a group who have awarded themselves huge bonuses and performance related pay and a group will do anything that they need to do in oder to protect their positions and hide their incompetence and deceit.

A group who upon realising how big a salary gap they had created between themselves and the next level of management beneath them, set about inventing two or three entirely new management tiers in the 75k to 195k income brackets.

Under cover of making fit the council management fit for purpose, the real objective was to justify their own salary levels by creating a visible rising structure. The result of this new tier? Their Achievements?

Well we only have to look at each consecutive appalling and damning judgement of each and every audit and the resulting laughingstock that is Liberal-democrat run Liverpool.

This group who were complicit in renewing contracts that had clearly been shown to be at worst totally corrupt and at best a mockery of the concept of Best Value, who spoon-fed misleading and falsified information about services to either stupid or completely gullible councillors to convince them that this was the way forward aided and abetted by a few Elected Members with their own agendas and who were in the pockets of LDL.

All set about driving this forward and treating the backbenchers like fools.

To achieve this, they deliberately ran services into the ground disposing of key jobs through a voluntary severance scheme that had no proper funding, refusing to fill vacant posts and starving key services of finances with the aim being to make the remaining staff look incompetent or incapable and therefore ripe for absorbing into Liverpool Direct.

Then LDL set about recharging the council at least three times the original cost of providing the same services and a call centre service more interested in external lucrative contracts than doing the job they were supposed to do.

A wonderful new service, who took on and then bullied untrained young people to work from scripts dealing with the jobs once done by qualified experienced staff that had deserted in their droves unable to stomach any more.

And the line they were given was to keep the public away from getting the help they needed if it was likely to be one that would involve a cost.

A group that initially under Henshaw but also to everyones genuine and deep sorrowful dismay under Hilton, with the support of Storey and Bradleys cabinet allowed the sinister Team Liverpool to drive these changes through, tolerating no opposition or questioning of how this would improve services, bullying staff into submission.

Using the Big Lie technique presenting lies masquerading as reports. and presenting financial projections and alleged savings that did not add up from day one.

Anyone who questioned this found their life was made hell and they either shut up or left.

They allowed Team Liverpool to play a never ending game of relocation with staff teams and services so that they could charge the council tens of thousands of pounds for each and every unnecessary but highly lucrative move.

No questions asked or reasons given and any challenge seen as not being a team player or not being progressive.

For over four years they shifted and moved often the same teams and staff around form building to building, floor to floor and crammed people into hot desk offices, where they often had to wait 2 hours of a morning to access a computer.

They have given the council rooms in buildings which the city council own and charged them for the use of their own premises, the list could go on and on.

Enough has already been written about the financial joke that is the IT service and cost of personal computers and IT equipment.

This is the group that has at the same time presided over the worst financially controlled council in Britain.

The group who still take their performance related pay and bonuses and massive golden handshake or silencing deals when they have become either so incompetent that they cannot be maintained in post or that they threaten blackmail.

The group who to get themselves out of the financial mess they have created, and still maintain their high earnings, look each and every time to cutting back services to the most vulnerable need groups and front line staff.

They would never consider cutting the stranglehold and financial abyss that is Liverpool Direct because without them, they would never have achieved this level of pay, self importance and the idea that they can do as they damn well want, when they want because nobody is able to or prepared to stop them or challenge them.

Joe Anderson, if you don't see this then you must be blind.

If the decent Lib-Dem back benchers who have been treated with contempt by their own party leaders don't see this then you will be tarnished for years to come with the accusations, rightly or wrongly of corruption or incompetence or both.

So of course they would go to these extremes to protect themselves, and it is about time everybody woke up to the fact that this council has become a disgrace to public office and public services and the decent hard working staff with any sense of the reality must be sickened and ashamed, and would probably be ready to comply with any genuine public enquiry.

We have seen the result of whistle blowing and handing over dossiers of evidence.

Nothing!

Because those called to or expected to investigate it are a part of the problem.

The demand should be made now to central government for a full public enquiry into the political and officer led management of this city and immediate intervention powers used to take control.

Without this, there is no current credible way forward.

PREMONITION OF AN UNCIVIL WAR or BATTLE OF THE GIANTS: the smiling assassin versus CoverUp

UNCIVIL WAR has broken out between the smiling assassin Hasitall and Colin CoverUp.

At stake is Hasitall's £220,000-a-year (plus 15 per cent Performance Related Pay) position as Executive Director (Resources) which Hilton wants to scrap.

Hasitall was behind the publication of the council's Blankety-Blank report into Tony Parrish's liverpool-evil-cabal blog.

The secret report, which had most of the names blanked out, fingered the Storeyteller as the source of info on the blog and recommended that he should be reported to the Standards Board.

But Colin CoverUp, in the time honoured traditional fashion, refused to take any action against the former council leader.

CoverUp decided another Standards Board investigation into Storey would sound the death knell for the Lib Dims and expose them as complicit in blackmailer Sir Diddy Henshaw's corrupt rule.

So Hilton quietly buried the report in his bottom drawer - until Labour's Joe Anderson rattled his cage and finally got his hands on it last week.

Hence the not-very shock headlines...

Painting Title: Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War), 1936 Salvador Dali

For the last year, Hasitall has been quietly simmering away in fury at Hilton's refusal to take action against Storey.

He wanted revenge because his own corruption had been comprehensively exposed by the legendary blog - his relationship with Chas 'show me the money' Cole; the New York marathon; his son's band Abe appearing with Status Quo at Chas's Summer Pops; free parking for Chas; the spiralling cost of the O8 Place to fit out Chas with an office, etc, etc.

So when it became clear that Hilton, at the Fireman's insistence, was now lining up Hasitall for the chop, the smiling assassin decided to act.
He wanted to get his revenge in first after it became clear that he was soon going to be the 'scapegoat' for Liverpool being named the worst financially run council in the country by the Audit Commission.

(Not so much the scapegoat really though - he is the city's Treasurer after all! eds)


So Hasitall, who leaked the first Tony Parrish report to the Echo a year ago, made sure the final report - produced by his own internal audit staff, of course - got into the hands of Labour's Joe Anderson.

The smiling assassin was quite happy for the Storeyteller to be fingered, but his real target was Hilton - for failing to refer the whole issue to the Standards Board.

In doing so, he scored a direct hit!

The report exposes CoverUp as politically biased, in protecting the Lib Dims and letting the Storeyteller off the hook.

It also reveals that CoverUp ignored an official recommendation and publically raised huge questions marks about his own professional integrity as £225,000-a-year chief executive, (plus 15 per cent Performance Related Pay).

(Not that we were in any doubt about that, anyway! eds)

CoverUp decided to cover-up for the Lib Dims.

So another everyday story of Liverpool politics!


Meanwhile, as the civil war between the smiling assassin and Hilton now rages, stay tuned for more instalments!!!!

It ain't over yet by a long way.....

To readers of the Liverpool Daily Post......

WELCOME - to the Liverpool subCulture blog.

• Legal




• Decent




• Honest




• Truthful

(Unlike the city council)....

WE NAME THE GUILTY MEN FOR HER MADGE: NO 1 - THE SMILING ASSASSIN HASITALL..

LIB DEM LEADERSHIP RESULT: "Infamy, infamy - they've all got it in for me!" Ooooooooh, what a Carry On!

So here's the result:
Bungling Fireman - 26 votes
Hypocrite Kemp - 13 votes
Paul Clein - 7 votes

Almost half the Lib Dem group of 46 councillors refused to vote for the bloke who has been their Leader for the last two miserable years.
Hardly a vote of confidence in Bradley's Carry On leadership then.

(Maybe it will end up being one of them there Pilchard victories? ed)
No wonder Labour were rubbing their hands with glee at the apparent blind stupidity (you promised never ever to use that phrase ever, ever again, so help you God, eds) of the Lib Dim group.
As sure as eggs is eggs, Bradley is for the high jump from the Standards Board when it finally gets its act together and starts moving a bit quicker than a snail in quick-setting concrete.
What a Carry On this will all be in Capital of Culture year.
Bradley is banking, however, on the opening of Liverpool One and the McCartney concert bringing him some much needed summer joy and respite.
We suspect that Grovenor will be moving heaven and earth to keep a distance from the discredited regime.
And Macca will continue to marginalise the city council and Culture Company from any involvement at Anfield (won by Labour on May 1st, eds).

This won't stop gullible journalists from the craven Echo and CityTalks-but-no-one-listens giving Bradley the opportunity to stand in front of something stupid and say: "What a fantastic day this is for Liverpool! Ten years ago we were...etc, etc."
More discerning scribes - such as those now working on a Radio 4 investigation into the missing milions and especially the role played by the Rottweiller's Liverpool Direct Limited, Chas Cole and the smiling assassin - may take a slightly more rigorous perpective.
We live in hope.
But then there is the trial of Counclllor Hurst in late July, which should also be worth a seat in the public gallery.
And so on and so forth.
Meanwhile the old nag Clucas, who refused at the last minute in the paddock, has reserved the right to stand in any future Lib Dem leadership contest.
(She's a wily old filly, isn't she? eds)
And the Leader-in-waiting, the Arch Hypocrite Kemp will be busily working behind the scenes in the next few months to try and win friends and influence people and shore up more support amongst the Lib Dims.
By which stage Uncle Joe should have his hands on the Boot Estate report.
Meanwhile God knows what Paul Clein will do - he's capable of anything.
And a substantial rump of Lib Dims, led by the ga-ga Sir Trevor will be wringing their hands in despair as the Fireman tries to bluff his way out of the Standards Board.

• Bradley's first test will come this week when he announces his new Cabinet and reveals whether he has kept a place for the Storeyteller.He was promising anyone who would listen in the last week that he would be sacking the Storeyteller. We shall see.
  

No wonder Labour were grinning like cats that got the cream after tonight's result.

What a Carry On!

KOP FOR THAT! LIB DIMS HAND OVER £1.9MILLION TO MACCA TO PLAY ANFIELD!

• MACCA'S ULTIMATUM TO COUNCIL - 'COUGH UP £1.9MILLION NOW, OR I'M OFF!'

• PANIC-STRICKEN LIB DIMS HAND IT OVER TO AVOID REPEAT OF MATHEW ST FIASCO
  
• HEADLESS CHICKENS IN TURMOIL AT CULTURE COMPANY, AFTER LATEST COCK-UP

• GUESS WHO IS GOING TO END UP PAYING FOR THIS?
  

Panic-stricken Lib Dims have today handed over £1.9million to millionaire ex-Beatle Paul McCartney after he delivered an ultimatum.

A furious Macca threatened to pull out of his planned gig at Anfield in June, unless the Culture Company handed over total organisation of the event to his own production company.
He demanded the cash was transferred by the close of business today, after 18 fruitless and frustrating months of trying to deal with the Culture Company.
Macca's patience finally ran out on Friday when the ultimatum was delivered to the Fun Palace at Millennnium House - sparking scenes of mass panic and headless chickens as the bureaucratic suits were forced to gather for a series of top-level meetings.

Macca told the Culture Co they had until today to agree to hand over the event lock, stock and barrell - or the concert would never happen.
Colin CoverUp then decided to leap into action (well, he got slowly to his feet and decided to politely ask a minion to send off a carrier pigeon to ask various penpushers what he should do, eds)
The upshot was that the Lib Dims decided to hand over the dosh - even though they are already £62 million in the red and are busily sacking staff, closing old people's homes, leisure and sports centres and increasing charges for anything that moves.
Macca is still waiving his £300,000 appearance fee and handing it over to LIPA - but that still takes the total cost to council taxpayers to an extra £2.25million.
On paper.
The final cost will be millions more of course - all heavily disguised by the smiling assassin, Hasitall.
And remember the Harbarrowboy originally promised the Macca gig would be 'cost neutral'.
Then, that it would cost just £1.2million.
Now CoverUp and the Fireman Bradley are desperately trying to persuade safety experts to find space at Anfield to fit in another 10-15,000 extra seats for the gig.
So that they can then sell the extra tickets to plug the bulging gap in the city's coffers.
But safety experts have so far refused to give the go-ahead. If they refuse, watch out for more cuts in services and the city's Culture year being severely curtailed still further.
Meanwhile all the bollocks about global TV rights and DVDs and corporate hospitality coining it for the city, have all proved groundless.
The tree killing media, at the craven Echo and Daily Post will hail this as a fantastic boost for the city - Macca is coming! It's Official! An extra 15,000 tickets go on sale for gig of the century!
Not a single member of the Liverpool meeja has got anywhere near asking a single relevant question about the spiralling out of control cost of this event.
The total cost will forevever remain a mystery.
Meanwhile we bet Macca doesn't play this at Anfield:

<>

WORST COUNCIL IN COUNTRY LATEST: FIREMAN RUNS FOR COVER

FIREMAN Bradley is refusing to give interviews about the city council being ranked the worst in the country. He has disappeared from view, completely. So too has every other member of the Lib Dim Executive Board. Colin CoverUp is also hiding under his desk. So that leaves Hasitall lined up for Roger Phillips's prog on Radio Merseyside - so perhaps the smiling assassin can take questions from the people of Liverpool about the shambles they have created in the last ten years? Christ knows who the city council are going to offer for interview to City Talk - probably Coco the Clown! Meanwhile click here for the Daily Post story. And we wait with bated breath to see the spin in tonight's Echo...

THE HARBARROWBOY GETS READY TO SING LIKE A CANARY!!!!

THE Harbarrowboy is to go public and sing like a canary in an exclusive radio interview with City Talk this Friday.

Jase is expected to use the opportunity to formally announce that he has submitted a complaint to the Standards Board against both Fireman Bradley and the Storeyteller.

And we certainly hope that he will dish the dirt and spill the beans on secret emails and text messages and phone calls and meetings and reports and all the usual stuff we have by now come to know and love.

For some reason this will be a sensation all over the news, radio and telly - even though Labour's Joe Anderson got in first with an official complaint about Bradley and Storey weeks ago.

However, we will not let that tiny detail spoil our enjoyment of all this as the political drama unfolds in the run-up to the local elections in May.

It is certainly a newsworthy item that the former chief executive of the Culture Company is officially complaining about the Leader and his Regeneration side-kick in Liverpool's year as European Capital of Culture.

(By the way, who can we complain to if we have a complaint about an officer of the council then? You guessed it - Cover Up! eds)

We also find it astonishing that both CoverUp Hilton and Hasitall, closely advised by Sir Diddy Henshaw on the dog and bone, have actively encouraged Jase to stick the knife into their political 'masters'.

And that the 'do nothing' chief exec and 'can't add up' finance chief did not insist on a 'gagging clause' in Jase's pay-off deal to stop him singing.

Looks as though the pair believe Bradley and Storey's days are now numbered and have decided to cut their losses and ditch them.

At which point we will only pause to congratulate the brave and principled former Events boss, Mr Lee Forde who did the decent thing and turned the bastards over for their attempted conspiracy to get 'poor Jase'.

It was he who started the ball rolling and, we suspect, it is he who will be the only one to emerge from this godawfulmessforLiverpool with his reputation intact and totally undamaged. If anything, his reputation has been enhanced!

Meanwhile we can exclusively reveal further details of the Harbarrowboy's appearance between 7-9am on Friday morning on City Talk's Phil Easton show. (Ridiculous free plug - but who gives a stuff? It promises to be a highly entertaining show, eds)

City Talk are so jubilant at their undoubted coup that they have had the brass neck to take out a full page advert in Thursday night's Echo.

The dead tree press look as though they may have caught a severe cold here, so watch out for some attempted 'spoilers' in the Echo and Post.

Radio Merseyside will pretend it is not a story, of course.

Quite what Jase will talk about for two solid hours - he is booked for the entire show - is anyone's guess.

But he did always fancy himself on t'radio and no doubt the bullshit will flow.

It certainly won't be Four More Years or Great Triumphs of My Time in Office.

Get set for: "I am really proud of all that I have achieved, its going to be a fantastic year, enjoyed every minute, Mathew St not my fault (obviously), Culture Company in fine fettle, bullying Bradley, secret meeting with Forde a disgrace, I did nothing wrong, CoverUp and Hasitall are my mates, proud to have made a difference to the people of Liverpool, did my bit, I have single-handedly changed Liverpool's image, anyone fancy a cornetto? etc, etc."

The usual bollocks in other words.

Stay tuned, folks!

You really couldn't make this stuff up....

THE HARBARROWBOY DISAPPEARS INTO THE SUNSET WITH A QUARTER OF A MILLION - WILL HE KNIFE THE FIREMAN?

THE worst financially-run council in the country today gave £250,000 to the Harbarrowboy as a reward for failure.

(You couldn't make this up, eds)

Liverpool city council Chief Executive Colin CoverUp gave the go-ahead for the huge pay-off to the barrowboy who has spent the last five months on the sick and on full-pay at his hacienda in Spain.

His departure is due to be officially announced on Thursday - but will be front page in the Daily Post tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the Audit Commission today named Liverpool as the worst financially-managed local authority in England.

The city council is now at least £29million in the red after failing to properly budget for Liverpool, Capital of Culture 2008 - which was partly chief executive Jason Harborow's responsibility.

Jase went on the sick in September after cocking up Liverpool's world-famous Mathew Street Festival and forcing its cancellation.

Since then, Fireman Bradley has got into big trouble with the Standards Board for trying to lure former Events chief Lee Forde into a 'Peroni Plot' to oust the hated Jase.

Amazingly, Jase's mega pay-off of council taxpayers money does not include a 'gagging clause' preventing him from speaking out in the future.

Which has only increased speculation amongst The Tonys, that chief exec Hilton and his sidekick, the smiling assassin Hasitall (whose 'reputation' for financial management is now irretrievably destroyed) have deliberately left the way open for Jase to try and kill-off Bradley.

(What goes around, comes around, eds)

Firstly, Harbarrowboy could sell his story to the News of the Screws for millions (just a joke - but he could sell it to the Daily Post for a Sayers pastie, eds).

Secondly, Jase could also now join Joe Anderson and submit a formal complaint to the Standards Board about Bradley.

This time Bradley would be accused of bullying Jase and undermining his position by sending an email to Hilton demanding Jase's head on a plate.

Looks like the lazy Hilton and incompetent Hasitall have therefore decided to cut their losses with Bradley and have teed it up for Jase to have a go back.

Meanwhile we can exclusively reveal details of the joint statement issued by Our Lord Redmond and CoverUp to mark Jase's departure for a life of ice-cream cones back at the hacienda.

It goes something like this:

"Jase has made an invaluable contribution to the success of Capital of Culture, blah-blah, he has been instrumental in re-building Liverpool's reputation nationally and internationally, blah-blah, we couldn't have done it without his efforts, blah blah, effective and competent leadership skills, blah-blah, thanks to Jase we have now moved into delivery phase, blah-blah, no need for Jase anymore now that we have Our Lord in charge, blah-blah, wish Jase well in future ventures, blah-blah, sorry about dodgy ticker, blah-blah, city always be grateful for everything that he has done, blah-blah, lots of ice cream and feet-up now, blah-blah, ta-ra matey, blah-blah-hope you knife Bradley on way out, blah-blah".

In other words, Harborow was an overpaid used car salesman who was promoted way out of his depth and tried to bullshit his way through the Culture Company, banking on the Government coming to his rescue in the end and baling him out, but then he cocked up Mathew Street and it all went pear-shaped so publicly, that he had to go.

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: CAUGHT IN THE ACT! HARBOROW AND HILTON AT THE AFTERSHOW PARTY - THICK AS THIEVES (which is about right really, eds)

OUR exclusive picture reveals Jason Harborow, Chief Executive of the Liverpool Culture Company (and currently on sick leave apparently, eds) carousing with Colin Hilton, Chief Eecutive of Liverpool city council, which is in negotiations with solicitors to pay-off the Harbarrowboy with £250,000 of council taxpayers money.
The happy couple were snapped by one of our supporters at last night's after-show party at the Empire to celebrate the launch of Liverpool, Capital of Culture, 2008.
(We apologise for the poor quality - but would also like to unreservedly praise our brave and intrepid cameraman for having the bottle to snatch these two in the act, eds)
Both men laughed and joked as they downed the free beer and wine which flowed (they had to pay for spirits at the bar so they opted for the free stuff instead, eds)
The Harbarrowboy also spent some time locked in conversation with the smiling assassin Hasitall (Mr Phil Halsall, Executive Director) who controls the city council's purse strings and has so far allowed the council to chalk up £29 million of debts, mainly because of Jason's incompetence.
Who invited Jase is not clear. Who allowed him into the party is also not clear. But he obviously appears, to coin a phrase, to have "friends in high places."
His presence has already caused minor ructions, however.
(Thank Christ someone at least understands what is proper behaviour and what is totally improper behaviour, eds)
Councillor Marilyn Fielding, who has a deserved reputation as the rottweiller McElhinney's tame poodle, has surprisingly objected in the strongest possible terms and has emailed her Lib Dem colleague's with a tirade against the Harbarrowboy, demanding heads should roll because of his presence.
So she is obviously not completely beyond redemption.
But nothing of course will happen and CoverUp will no doubt mumble the usual bureacratic bollocks to any councillors who attempts to challenge both his personal and professional behaviour, integrity and honesty.

CAPTION COMPETITION:

Readers are invited to supply the best caption to our exclusive photo....

WIRRAL EXCLUSIVE: HARBARROWBOY ESCAPES SECOND MATHEW ST PROBE INTO 'ABUSE OF POWER'

THE Harbarrowboy has escaped a second internal city council investigation into Mathew Street.

The probe was ordered by chief executive Colin CoverUp just two weeks ago after fresh allegations were made about the running of the Mathew Street Festival - in 2006.

But now that the city council has decided to pay the Harbarrowboy off with £250,000 of council taxpayers money, it is unlikely that the investigation will ever be concluded.

(How convenient, eds)

The probe is likely to be mothballed, hidden in a drawer and covered-up for eternity.

(The city council are, at least, consistent, aren't they? eds)

The investigation by the city council's Internal Audit department had originally centred on the Harbarrowboy's role in promoting a particular local rock band who were suddenly given a prime spot at the 2006 Festival.

It is alleged that Jase abused his position and authority as chief executive of the Culture Company to unfairly ensure that the band were given the gig.

A second senior city council official was also being investigated after he was implicated in bringing pressure to bear on staff to make sure that the band appeared.

It is alleged that both Jason Harborow and the senior official intervened to make sure the band appeared.

The Harbarrowboy's £250,000 deal also now makes it almost certain that the un-named official will escape any disciplinary action.

(How convenient again, eds)

Local bands who appeared at the 2006 Mathew Street Festival had to go through a rigorous vetting procedure by an independent panel of judges.

But it is understood that the band at the centre of the probe had not gone through the same procedure.

They were able to jump the queue of local talent and never appeared in front of the judges - but were suddenly given a prime spot at the Festival.

It is alleged that both the Harbarrowboy and the senior official repeatedly pressured staff to give them a slot on the band's behalf.

Whether there was a financial, personal or professional connection between the band and Jase and the other council official is not clear.

Nor is it clear what the justification was for allowing one band to get around the established procedures.

Rather than getting to the bottom of all this, (as would befit any open, transparent and proper public organisation - which obviously rules out the city council under CoverUp, eds) the city council decided instead to opt for a Christmas pay-off for Jase.

So Colin CoverUp decided to turn a blind eye to any potential wrong-doing (not the for the first time, eds) and give the alleged culprit a big fat cheque instead.

Meanwhile the blog will continue our enquiries into this new cover-up (despite the festive season, eds) and will keep you up-dated on developments and any further details we can discover.

Stay posted.

PS Some may notice that this all bears a remarkable similarity to the original Tony Parrish's legendary expose of the smiling assassin's involvement in fixing bands for the Summer Pops. Regular readers will recall how Hasitall's son Liam's unknown band 'Abe' suddenly found themselves propelled to playing support for Status Quo at the Pops, thanks to the 'close relationship' between Halsall and CMP promoter Chas 'show me the money' Cole. We can confirm that this second investigation DOES NOT concern 'Abe' who predictably disappeared without trace, after their appearance.

PPS This is the 100th post by Liverpool SubCulture. It's our anniversary. So let's celebrate!

CHRISTMAS TREAT: SEE THE EVIL CABAL CELEBRATE THE HARBARROWBOY JOINING THEIR RANKS....

Click on the link below to see the Evil Cabal in action this Christmas as they celebrate Jason joining their rotten, corrupt, greedy and lying ranks (who said the season of goodwill was alive? eds)

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1703727964

It takes a while to load, but it's well worth the wait.

With thanks to Liverpool Confidential for the inspiration @ Some elfin around

PS Why not join in the fun and have hours of festive frolics with some of our famous characters?! And see Gossip for the Scrooge who said 'No' to Mathew Street! eds

NOMINATIONS are now officially open for The Tonys, 2007.

As all readers of Liverpool subCulture know, these are probably the most eagerly-awaited and celebrated awards in the entire blogosphere.

Self-styled scouse celebrities fight like cat and dog to get a nomination.

Others secretly brief the local media or leak confidential documents.

Some try to bribe the judges (usually unsuccessfully, but it rather depends on the nature of the bribe, eds).

A few, disgracefully, even try to vote more than once.

But then everyone forgets all the rivalries and gets dressed up to the nines for the glittering awards ceremony (which is normally held during 'grab a granny' night at the Grafton).

So please send us your nominations for The Tony's this year.

Awards include:

• Best Story


• Worst Cultural cock-up (this one is already heavily over-subscribed, eds)
  
• Best performance


• Most promising newcomer


• Most outrageous lie


• Best email


• Best kept secret
  
• Politician of the Year


• Biggest waste of money


• Legacy of 2008


• Top bullshitter


• Quote of the Year


• Biggest mistake


• One to watch


• Most dynamic duo


• Official follower of the original Tony Parrish (a special award in honour of our founder and patron, eds)


• The Rottweiller McElhinney's annual award for Corruption, Theft and Lies (sponsored by BT, eds)


• Photo of the Year
  

Any other award suggestions will be considered. Closing date for nominations: Midnight on Wednesday.

(And we will try to get around to revealing the winners by Christmas, eds)

MATHEW ST/MTV/'SONG FOR LIVERPOOL'....AND THE HITS GO ON!

WHILE we're on the subject of hits....

There were almost 5,000 hits on Liverpool subCulture last month - the highest monthly total for 2007.

Exactly 4,775 hits were recorded during October, the highest number on record (geddit?eds).

Visitors included the Audit Commission (regulars, eds), the BBC, unholy Trinity Mirror (virtually full-time on line, eds), JMU, Knowsley, The Mersey Partnership (loyal readers, eds), LIPA, FACT and the usual suspects - Liverpool Direct, the Palace of Westminster, various PR companies in Liverpool and London and other interesting passers-by.

Sir Diddy has been logging on regularly from Hawarden Golf Club - one of his favourite clubs -and the smiling assassin Hasitall is a regular reader out in Formby.

Of course we have also had the same visitor, but with different IP addresses, from sunny Spain (hiya Jase! - You don't have to keep on moving to internet cafes, unless the Rottweiller is after you! eds).

But there have also been visitors to our little Liverpool on-line community from the Netherlands, USA and South America (buenos dias senors and senoritas, eds)

On a daily basis, about 200 people log into Liverpool subCulture regularly - but on Tuesday, for example, 308 logged on to read all about the trio's exciting trip to MTV in Munich.

In total, Liverpool subCulture has had 38,400 hits in its short but eventful life, Gossip has had 18,166 rumour-mongers and City of the Dead has had 17,640 serious-minded devotees of the machinations of Liverpool's local government scene. Henshaw and the evil cabal has chalked up a creditable and extremely devoted anti-cabalist audience of 13, 047.

And we love you all !!!!!!! (toss of hair, blowing of kisses, fluttering of eyelashes, eds)

THE LIVERPOOL '08 TOP TWENTY

We have been reading in the Echo that Phil 'the great grey hope' Redmond has unveiled his secret weapon to make Liverpool No 1 in 2008.

Apparently, there is to be a new "Song For Liverpool" to mark our very special year.

(What a fantastically original and creative idea, absolutely guaranteed to engage and involve the people of Liverpool, eds)

And it's going to be a joint production by the Culture Company, (unholy)Trinity Mirror, Radio Murkeyside and City.

Doesn't that make your heart sink, pop pickers?

The song is destined, we fear, to be 'bubbling under' for a very long time (rather like our Salthouse Dock fish, ed)

Far better, in our view, to produce something which will be truly unique, distinctive and popular.

What about a once-in-a-lifetime Liverpool '08 compilation CD?

Featuring memorable cover versions of our favourite hits - but sung by some of the city's contemporary and most respected figures.

Mark Ronson could produce it - and blog readers could contribute the song titles and suggest the local personalities best equipped to perform!

It could be our very own version of the Liverpool X Factor!

So, to get the ball rolling and your creative juices flowing, might we make some suggestions about our very own top twenty?

THE LIVERPOOL '08 TOP TWENTY

1) We Don't Talk Anymore - Cllr Warren Bradley & Jason Harbarrowboy
2) It Should Have Been Me - Cllr Mike Storey(teller)
3) The Sound of Silence - Colin 'Cover Up' Hilton
4) Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - Phil Redmond
5) People Get Ready - Claire McColgan
6) Say it Ain't So, Joe - Paul 'Randy' Newman (in the chart with a bullet, eds)
7) Art for Art's Sake (Money for God's Sake) - Phil Halsall, the smiling assassin
8) Life in a Northern Town - The Residents (of L4, L5, L6, L8…etc etc, eds)
9) Y Viva Espana - Jason Harbarrowboy (solo performance, eds)
10) I Shoulda Known Better - Roger Phillips
11) She's Gone - Robbing Archer
12) Take The Money And Run - Sir David 'Diddy' Henshaw
13) Happy Talk - Alistair Machray (Echo Editor, eds)
14) Let's Dance - Flo 'quick, quick' Clucas
15) The Great Pretender - Kris Donaldson (Donald Bullshitter)
16) Hanging on the Telephone - Carolyn 'snitch' Hughes

17) Starman - Tony Parrish

18) I Wanna Be Elected - Liam Fogarty

19) Hound Dog - Dr David 'rottweiller' McElhinney

20) How Long Has This Been Going On? - The people of Liverpool

Bubbling under: Born To Run (Chris Green), Money's Too Tight to Mention (Sir Diddy), These Foolish Things (Matt Finnegan), Suspicious Minds (Lee Forde), I Fought The Law (Rex Makin), You Better Go Now (Joe Anderson)

It's something which everyone can join in!

Send your song suggestions to the blog, nominating your personality songster.
We will ensure that the Culture Company spends millions of pounds of council taxpayers' money on hiring record studios and top notch producers for the CD.

Thanks L&J!